Low self-esteem

Improve your Self-esteem and Confidence

What is low self-esteem?

Low self-esteem refers to a lack of confidence in your abilities or belief in your self-worth. For example, you may consider yourself a failure, imposter, weak, unacceptable or defective. 

When you suffer from low self-esteem, it can affect some or all areas of your life. You may feel like a failure at work, but you feel loved regarding relationships. Alternatively, you feel like a lousy person wherever you go. 

Our expert psychologists and psychotherapists can help you improve your self-esteem. Get in touch to speak to a therapist at our Birmingham city centre office.

What are the signs of low self-esteem?

People who suffer from low self-esteem may feel scared, guilty and embarrassed. For example, you may feel self-conscious in social situations or public speaking. Unintentionally, you worry that people will judge you.

Many people tend to be highly self-critical, which worsens their mood and leads to depression. 

Despite the many problems associated with low self-esteem, we offer effective therapy to help you work, love, play and feel better. 

What causes low self-esteem?

Sometimes it’s easy to see why you suffer from low self-esteem. When you look at your childhood, you remember being criticised, neglected or abused. The more experiences you have, the more likely you will remember them.

I’ve met many people who describe their upbringing as usual. They feel confused and don’t understand why they suffer from low self-esteem. The causes aren’t always obvious, and they want to know why they think so little of themselves.   

Your environment shapes you. In other words, the opportunities available to you and how people treat you will influence the person you become when you grow up. Our culture is often prejudiced and unfair towards people of colour, women, LGBTQI+, and disability. 

Those people who are neurodivergent (Autism, ADHD, Dyslexia, Dyspraxia) have long been neglected and expected to ‘fit in’ with the systems that neurotypical people find easier to navigate. 

Like all other organisms, we thrive in conditions that suit our strengths and support the more challenging tasks. 

Many people have learned to blame their self. They see that they are the problem and need to eliminate negative thoughts. Unfortunately, merely changing your thinking will not lead to much improvement.

How do I get rid of low self-esteem?

Your first instinct might be to find ways to increase your self-esteem. However, those with unshakable confidence often see themselves as superior. They feel they are more important, clever and worthy. 

Narcissistic tendencies lead to a sense of entitlement. When others don’t do as they wish, they feel they have the right to control, manipulate and gaslight them. Unfortunately, many people with high self-esteem occupy the most powerful societal positions. They are often the most wealthy, seeking more money, resources, and status.

Do positive affirmations work?

Positive affirmations rarely change the way people see themselves. Studies show that instead of making people feel better, replacing negative thoughts with positive ones makes you feel worse. 

It may seem logical that positive thinking would give you more confidence, but it simply doesn’t work. You merely get into a mental battle between the angel and devil sitting on your shoulders, forever entangled in a game of chess that consistently reaches the same conclusion – stalemate! 

There is another way. You needn’t become a dislikeable brute to get rid of low self-esteem. You can still aim for success, but in the way you want.

It’s possible to free yourself from negative beliefs by learning to pay less attention to them. I don’t mean avoiding them because that doesn’t work either. I’m referring to how you observe and let go of what happens in your mind.

Many people learn to liberate their minds through self-acceptance, mindfulness and compassion. By learning to embrace your demons, you make yourself stronger. Instead of wasting your life trying to run away, hide or fight your difficulties, you can build a new set of habits based on what you want from life. 

How can we help

We teach you ways of building your confidence by:

• Identifying the Roots of your low self-esteem
• Identifying your current coping strategies and assessing their effectiveness
• Build up new skills in you, including:
  1. Assertiveness training
  2. Clarifying what’s most important to you
  3. Designing exercises to increase the connection in your relationships

We aim to get to the root of the problem quickly by pinpointing the areas of your life you lack confidence, e.g. relationships or work. We’ll teach you the relevant skills in a safe and supportive environment. You’ll observe our therapists’ demonstrations of handling tricky conversations by being open, honest and respectful.