Why do we get anxious?

When I started my business, I visited an exhibition in London that was aimed at helping people in my profession succeed.  Before a marketing workshop, I necked one of the strongest coffees ever brewed.  Unfortunately, 15 minutes later, I started to get a little twitchy.

Picture the scene.  This was an oversubscribed event, and there weren’t nearly enough chairs.  A substantial group of us sat on the floor at the front, crowded in without an easy escape route.

Before long, I started sweating profusely, and my heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest.  I wasn’t sure if I was going to pass out or be sick.  Either way, it felt too much to stay where I was.  I had to get up and leave.

I headed directly to the nearest bathroom.  I splashed water on my face and controlled my breathing as best I could while I waited for it to pass. 

Nothing terrible happened.  Luckily, my worst fear didn’t come true.  I didn’t embarrass myself, and after 10 or 20 minutes, I started to feel normal again. 

In hindsight, I know it was the coffee.  However, I didn’t understand why it was happening at the time.  I’d never had this reaction to caffeine before, and it took me until much later to work it out.  In the meantime, there I was, trying to keep it together, concerned, uncertain and frustrated that I was missing out on the workshop.

Why did this make me anxious?

Caffeine is a stimulant drug, which means that when ingested, it activates the sympathetic nervous system.  In smaller doses, caffeine can increase focus, energy and productivity.  However, in larger or excessive amounts, it can have uncomfortable effects.

When activated, the sympathetic nervous system accelerates your heart rate.  You begin to pump blood faster around your body.  Your blood pressure increases, and your body temperature and adrenaline release increase.

Human evolution has allowed this reaction to occur.  Sometimes, people call it your survival response.  When encountering a threat, your body goes into flight, fight or freeze.  In other words, you try to run away, defend yourself or hideaway. 

In short, we get anxious because we have an evolved survival response that keeps us alive. 

But this isn’t the whole explanation.  There are many reasons we get anxious.

Language is a gift and a curse.

Anxiety is different from fear.  All animal species get scared.  However, humans only genuinely get anxious. 

Anxiety concerns what might happen in the future, whereas fear is a survival response to a present threat.  Language enables us to imagine the future and remember the past.  As far as we know, other animal species cannot time-travel in their minds.

When a dog chases a squirrel in the park, it runs up the nearest tree.  That’s it’s survival instinct.  When the dog passes by, the squirrel comes down again.  It doesn’t sit in the tree worrying about what might have happened.  It isn’t concerned with getting chased again.  As soon as the threat has ended, so has its fear response.

People are different.  We wait, and we keep watch.  We assess risks and create safety plans.  While that may be invaluable in some situations, the same tendency can prolong our fear, turning it into anxiety.

Life Experiences Shape Us

Our life experiences influence our minds and bodies.  We learn about the world, what others are like, and who we are daily.  During your childhood and adolescence, your environment shapes you.  Once you reach adulthood, your sensitivity to the world reduces, and past experiences significantly influence your automatic reactions. 

This helps us to understand why feelings can be confusing.  Sometimes, we feel scared when there is no apparent threat or guilty when we haven’t done anything wrong.  Feelings aren’t merely reactions to what is happening in your current situation; they are your learning history arriving into the present moment.  Let me give you an example.

When I was about 10, I used to get picked on by a couple of older boys on my street.  They’d chase me, throw things at me and verbally threaten me.  I learned that others can be intimidating, and I can feel unsafe.  I knew that, in some circumstances, I was vulnerable.

I found it humiliating as well.  When I returned home, I’d be furious, thinking, how dare they?  I’d fantasise about revenge but worry about bumping into them whenever I went out.  Either way, my heart rate accelerated, and my mind and body went into flight, fight or freeze.

Fast forward to the business exhibition many years later.  After a strong dose of caffeine, during my panic, I remember feeling scared of humiliation.  What if people mocked me?  Again, I felt vulnerable.

However, when you think about it, my fear and vulnerability don’t entirely make sense.  I knew that no one at the workshop wanted to harm me.  No one was threatening me.  However, I still felt scared and unsafe, just like when I was bullied as a child.

The mind and the body remember.

What’s happening here is natural.  This is how it works because your primary biological evolved response is survival.  It isn’t rationality.  Nor is it logic or self-compassion.  In other words, as far as your central nervous system is concerned, it is better to be safe than sorry.

Life experiences get stacked on top of each other.  My encounters with the bullies on my street were layered on top of other anxious moments before that.  The caffeine fiasco was stacked on top of everything else that had occurred before. 

There is no escaping learning, and you cannot control it.  You are not the master of what gets stored in your memory bank. 

Similarly, you cannot unlearn because every new experience gets added to all that has happened beforehand.  Your mind and your body remember to protect you.  That’s just the way it is.

The struggle can make you more anxious.

One final reason I want to mention why we get anxious is regarding the struggle.  Naturally, we don’t like anxiety.  However, when we don’t like something, we try to keep our distance and redirect our energy into escape, avoidance, and excessive control. 

The natural sequence goes like this.  We don’t like a feeling, and we don’t want a feeling, so we try to get rid of it.  Attempts to avoid fear and anxiety can take over your life, which, rather than freeing you from it, makes you a slave to it.